One of the biggest misconceptions that nearly all people grow up with, is the desire of being liked by others.
Growing up, i do not remember how many times i have heard from family members, the “be a good boy” concept. Which is not bad at all. But the underlying behaviors behind that are.
You go to school, they also teach you to do things that will make your teachers happy. And there you forget what you really want.
You socialize with your friends and the society, trying to get their approval, be part of teams that will accept you and so on. And there these things, empower you in forgetting what you really want.
These things are adding up as we grow up, leading to different things. I have lot of friends that literally have the “Syndrome of the good child“. Only doing things that satisfy others, forgetting what they really want. Saying “no” to others becomes a really hard task.
One of the things to realize when talking about our real needs and happiness is what i read from Jorge Bucay a couple of years ago: “If i have to choose between you and me, i choose me“. That’s it. Simple and solid. Dealing with the core of the problem. Having a really good start to work with.